Ronald Lewis Unplugged

Recently, I received apologies from two different women — an ex, and the other, an old friend I liked a great deal. I find both rather amusing. While it’s a nice gesture, I couldn’t care less either way. In my years of dealing with women, I was quite naive. I did everything wrong (mainly because I was doing “by heart”), and for a good while, I was the typical “doormat” type. I rarely said “No” and I wanted to please everyone.

After finding myself in familiar situations several times, I finally started listening to my instincts and removed my “rose colored glasses”. I am glad I know what I do now. My life is better because of it. I only wish I knew all of this 10 years ago, but as they say, “better late than never.”

As a youngster, I knew I one day wanted to be married and eventually a father. It was a dream of many, and one I was destined to fulfill. When I entered my 20s, my idea of marriage and relationships began to change. Reality was sinking in and the once perfect image I held of marriage was quickly on the decline.

Today, at 27, I now have a drastically different idea of marriage: It’s just a glorified relationship with legal obligations which rarely favor men. Marriage will not change one’s heart, make them a better companion, or encourage them to be more loyal. It’s just a status, with a few tax benefits.

Supposedly, we live in a spiritually conscious society and country. However, the reality is that our divorce rate has reached damning proportions, while unmarried couples and singles are on the rise. Of course, there is no one particular explanation for this, but one thing is certain: Reality isn’t encouraging.

Furthermore, what incentive is there for single men to marry? If he’s responsible, loving, and committed, what will he gain aside from a “wife”? Marriage is deeply rooted in religion, of which I am not a religious person (I am a “spiritualist”), and as we can see, religion hasn’t done much for our planet — we’re still angry at each other, we’re still fighting senseless “religious wars”, and so on.

What’s so great about marriage again? Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve never needed a piece of paper to proclaim my love or dedication to a mate. Relationships are all about responsibility, accountability and dedication.

A group of friends and I are discussing a number of issues with regard to men and women. One of the topics being discussed are ultimatums and if women use them as a form of manipulation to, for example, pressure a man into marriage.

Having personally experienced such tactics myself, it’s never a wonderful moment. Anyone who attempts to manipulate either party isn’t a healthy person to begin with.

I love late mornings such as these — it’s a great time to read, think and release. My brain has been working overtime with so many thoughts about life. I have to admit that, in this moment, I am deeply confused by the state of our planet and its people. I’ve always tried to make sense of things I didn’t understand, and when I reached the point of frustration, I always told myself that I wouldn’t think about it anymore — ha, yeah, right!

I always find myself going back to the drawing board and recounting all of the things I’ve attempted to make sense of in life: Love, relationships, violence, bigotry, government, religion, etc. I am a very inquisitive guy, so it’s important to me that I understand the details of anything which troubles me. In my mind, there is a solution to every problem, and I won’t rest until I discover and solve it. So, as you might imagine, there are many unresolved problems that I’ve yet to understand in life. And you know what? Sometimes, it’s really unnerving.

I’m really amazed by how we allowed ourselves to evolve to this current day. So many things are out of place and simply do not fit. Was this evolution’s plan, or man’s? The answers continue to elude me. I am just baffled by everything. Wow.